Fat Chicks and Aliens

Hello All,

Sorry I haven’t written in a while. Been very busy taking phone calls from people panicked about this recession/depression thing.

If you listen to my buddy, Roberto K, he’ll tell you that we won’t hit a depression because the powers that be will continue to print money which will create inflation. Then hyper inflation hits and the value of the dollar becomes worthless. But at least we didn’t hit a depression. It’s like my second wife. . . you know, a totally hot chic who gets depressed, then eats to temporarily suppress the pain, then hyper inflate from all the eating and basically becomes worthless piece of . . .

If you listen to Bob, my fellow blogger, he’ll tell you this is a great thing because the hyper inflation will cause the price of silver to go up and he’ll make a fortune. What jerk. “Hey Jack, did you here the great news? Hundreds of thousands of people are losing their jobs. Isn’t that cool? My silver will be worth more now?” He reminds me of my 2nd wife too. She celebrated when Crispy Cream closed down. Forget all the people losing their jobs, she celebrated at the discount doughnuts from the closeout sale. God I hated her. So Bob needs to shut up and find a way to make money without the destruction of lives. Hey Bob. Shut up!

Anyways, all this joy from the destruction of peoples’ lives is premature. The fed is most likely going to jack up the money supply, BUT there isn’t going to be extra money floating around. The stock crash and the real estate crash have suddenly reduced the amount of money out there. The fed would have to put trillions of dollars in just to keep it balanced. So there isn’t any inflation or hyper inflation here. The whole recession thing is just in people’s mind since the fed is putting money in, and the whole hyperinflation thing is just wishful thinking.

So let’s calm down all this craziness and fear. Godzilla isn’t coming to town, neither is Santa Claus. All the layoffs are just panic from greedy executives.

Our course I could be totally wrong and Bobby Big Bucks could be totally right. But lets say he is and the US has hyperinflation. Big deal. Since every other country is so linked to us, then they get hyper inflated too. Its like my 2nd wife getting fat. If all the other girls in the world would have gotten fat too, it wouldn’t have mattered. I’d just need my wife to be the best looking fat chic.

Or lets say Bob the blogger is right and this hyper inflation is just a tool of the ubber rich to create one world government. Well cool. Then we can be united against the green skinned, snake tongued alien threat he keeps warning me about.

That’s what this financial crisis boils down to. . .fat chics and aliens. I’ll take a thin, large breasted alien any day.

Jack B. Calm