Sales Equals Income or Smurfs are Tittilicious

There exists, in this universe, a batch of magic. In this batch of magic lies a few deep wisdoms hidden from the common mortal man. These magical wisdoms are not completely lost to us though. We all know it. There is the occasional secret that has made its way into a human ear. There is evidence of it everywhere.

Go to a few bars, pretty soon you’ll see one of these secrets. There’s a skinny little twit boy surrounded by a large breasted, thinly waisted, puffy lipped, tan mob of ubber hot chics. And just to make it more painful he is fondling two of them. You know the rest want to be fondled too, but this poor skinny bastard only has two hands, so the others will have to wait. Crap, if I’m lucky enough to get attention from a decent looking chic, she sure isn’t going to let me fondle her and she’s especially not going to let me fondle all her friends. Nope. This twiggy pencil dick has been told a universal secret. And the prick sure isn’t telling it to me.

You see the same thing with money. Once in a while you’ll find a stupid hillbilly whose mother is also his sister and his dad is also his uncle George, but who is also filthy rich. These are the dipshits who made jeans with holes popular. Hillbilly gear by Armani. . . Shut UP!

Now imagine if a good looking guy learned the secret of woman, or a smart guy learned the secret of money. Shit! That guy would be SET UP! Well, I’m not good looking, but I do have the occasional brain cell. If I can just learn the rich people’s secret, THEN I can get the plastic surgery, go learn the ugly guy’s secret and RULE THE WORLD! Or at least get laid in a Lamergini.

This is why I work at Rich Dad. . . to get laid in a Lamborghini. . . and to gleam some inner secret of the rich. Something Robert Kiyosaki knows, but he’s not sharing. Well, I’ve been here over two years. I’ve gotten Robert stupid drunk. . . learned nothing (other than his fetish for smurfs). Sent super hot shirtless woman after him . . . learned nothing (other than he REALLY loves his wife or he’s gay). Sent super hot shirtless men after him. . . learned one thing (he loves his wife). Finally, I decide to just ask. One thing. What’s the biggest thing? TELL ME THE SECRET!!!

Sales equals income.

Duh. Shut up. Please tell me something that I’m not already born knowing.

Sales equals income.

I know. I know. Go play with a smurf.

Sales equals income. Hear me. You’re listening, but you are not hearing. Sales equals income.
I do not care what you are doing, you are always selling or being sold. Whose going to buy who’s shit?
You want that chic to think you’re worth the time, she wants you to thinks she’s not interested. Who’s gonna buy who’s shit? You want to tell your boss how hard you’re working and your boss wants you to work harder. Who’s going to sell and who’s going to buy?

Your hair, your posture, the car you drive, the clothes you where. You are selling. You’d better be damn sure you’re selling what you want people to be buying. Yeah, I love smurfs. I do not walk around in smurf underroos. For one thing they are too tight on me and ride up my ass, but for another, I’m selling myself as rich and powerful.

Why does it matter that I’m always selling? BECAUSE SELLS IS INCOME. God, you are stupid.

I’m still visioning Robert in his smurf panties. I’m trying to focus on what he’s saying, but smurfaroos. Come on.

Robert continues. . . Accounting is income. No.
Legal is income. No.
SALES is Income. You can’t have the rest without sales. Sales. sales. sales.

With the economy crashing, what are you going to do? Hire another accountant? NO!!! Beef up your sales department, because you’re going to need every sale you can get.

Suddenly it dawns on me. This IS the secret that skinny nerd at the bar knows. He’s sold himself as something special. This twit has refused to buy the “I’m special” routine and instead sold the “I am special” routine and now he’s got fists full of tittilicious, soft malleable boobies.

I thank Robert for sharing his secret wisdom as he drives off in his smurf blue Lamborghini.

Jack B. Loo

Book on Federal Reserve

In this past Tuesday's meeting, Robert started out talking about this bailout and brought up the book, "The Creature from Jekyll Island", a book about the Federal Reserve. This book is about a group of rich and powerful people who met on Jekyll Island off of Georgia in 1910. They came up with the plan for the Federal Reserve which was formed in 1913. It turns out that the Federal Reserve is not Federal but a private corporation. It's not a bank and they have no reserves. They simply print US Dollars at will and since '71, those dollars have no gold backing.

I've started reading the book but nowhere near finished (500+ pages). Robert believes that this financial system was set up by design and now we're seeing it start to break down with the failures of Lehman, Fannie, Freddie and the $85 billion loan to AIG. This $700 billion+ bailout is probably going to be much higher then what they are saying. More on this bailout and the book....

"Injecting" liquidity" into the financial system- What a FRAUD!

How many times have we heard over the last year from the mainstream media that the federal reserve was going to "pump liquidity" or "INJECT" money into the financial system? What does that translate to? Is there some bank account out there with countless trillions of dollars waiting for withdrawal? The answer is yes.

This phantom bank account is administered by the "federal reserve bank" and they control the money supply of the U.S and ultimately the world. They have the power to print and electronically create US Dollars and as much as they want.

So, after this week's failure of Lehman Brothers and the buyout of Merrill Lynch along with the bailout of AIG, we hear again of this "injecting" $247 billion of liquidity into the markets to keep banks afloat.

The "injection" of money into the financial system only further dilutes the money supply, thus reducing the value of the US Dollar.

Why is it that the American public is completely CLUELESS on this point?

How long do you think this can go on before a global economic collapse occurs?

Please respond

Hello All,

I need a little help. I have a question that has me stumped, so I’d love some feedback. Here’s the question: Who cares if Lehman Brothers goes belly-up? Who does this really effect? I can understand the rare individual who placed his/her whole retirement plan in their stock. I get that. But generally people invest in mutual funds, stupid as that may be, and while this may hurt the mutual fund, it doesn’t wipe it out. So it kind of sucks, but doesn’t ruin anybody.

Then I hear it effects inflation. Does it? The government didn’t bail them out. The government did not print more money to fix the problem. Where’s the inflation? From unemployment? Then we should bitch about the automobile industry more. They shut down plants all the time. Or we should complain about the companies that ship jobs overseas.

The government didn’t raise taxes to bail them out. That argument is a joke anyways. We don’t raise taxes, we just print more money.

So I don’t get it. Help me out here. Is there anyone out there who is truly effected by this? More than the rise in gas prices?

Jack B. Confused

Accountants and Lawyers Aren't Green or Triple Breasted

I don’t know if you’ve watched the Tuesday meeting from the 9th or not, but one thing from that meeting really connected with me. The article for the meeting was: NEW RULES FOR THE NEW ECONOMY…….Kevin Kelly.

The part that really made me stop and think was:

10) Opportunities Before Efficiencies. As fortunes are made by training machines to be ever more efficient, there is yet far greater wealth to be had by unleashing the inefficient discovery and creation of new opportunities.

This speaks to a character flaw of mine. I tend to jump before think. I fail to research the height, distance and softness of the ground I’ll be landing on. This has gotten me in more trouble than I can express here. Like the time I just wanted to get drunk and get some action in a new town. A little research would have prevented me from going into that gay bar. FAB-U-LOUS!!! Or the time I was depressed and went to the nearest “church” to get some spiritual uplift. I didn’t even know churches existed to worship green skinned aliens with three breasts and ten arms (yeah, TOTALLY hot!).

BUT, sometimes this trait is good. I met my fourth wife and married her after only three weeks of knowing her. I’ve been all over the world and met all sorts of people (including possible alien descendants – no, only two breasts) and experienced all sorts of crazy and adventure.

In business it’s good too. Robert, or Daddy Bigbucks as I like to call him, always says you cannot have a company run by accountants and lawyers. They will never take the opportunity, or the adventure. They will stick with what they know and die a slow death. They will become more efficient and drain every cent from every dollar, but they won’t see new opportunities and eventually the world will pass them by.

Business needs to be headed by a visionary, someone who sees an opportunity and jumps. Then he/she can let the dullards, I mean, accountants and lawyers come in and make the landing smoother and efficient. If the geeks, I mean, attorneys and accountants had to do the jumping they would spend all their time researching wind speed, angles, trajectories and crap. They would never jump.

Of course if everyone in the company was a “jumper” then it would look like medusa’s hair – going in ten directions and with no true shape. Not to mention creepy and poisonous, hmm maybe SHE was an alien. If everyone was a bore, I mean, accountant or lawyer the hair would look perfect. It’s just that it would be a hair cut from the eighties – FOREVER. Think Flock of Seagulls. They HAD to be aliens.

So my point is, that a company needs both the visionaries and the wieners, I mean accountants and lawyers. Just make sure the visionary is in the lead and wieners are tucked in.

Jack U. Oupp

New book- "Guide to Investing in Gold and Silver" RD Advisor Series

I just finished reading Mike Maloney's "Guide to Investing in Gold and Silver". Mike has made a compelling case that sooner, rather than later, the US Dollar is going to tank and everyone will be running to gold and silver to protect their wealth. The good news is that NOW is the time to get in on both silver and gold- before the HERD of people start rushing in. Mike states that this opportunity coming could be the best investment in history.

The book starts off with the history of other empires that have used a fiat currency and how they have failed 100% of the time. The United States has been on this path since Aug, 1971 when President Nixon took us off the gold standard. There are a lot of interesting facts in this book but not too many to bore the reader. He explains that gold and silver will revalue themselves periodically in relation to the amount of paper currency printed. For example, the M3 money supply (total printed money in circulation) was ~$1.7 billion in January, 1980 when gold hit $850 an ounce. Today, the M3 is estimated at $14 trillion, a 7.7 times increase in the amount of currency. With that said, gold, when it adjusts, should be $6,118.00 an ounce...

Mike goes into today's current economic climate, then predictions for "tomorrow". He concludes with the final section "How to Invest in Precious Metals".

I recommend this book if you are unsure about silver and gold relating to investing. There's so much documentation and research behind it. I've never read an investment book with this much passion put into it. Now is the time to buy as silver is down again to $10.44 (9/11/08) from $20.81 (3/14/08). I have invested in silver for the long term.

Silver sure is OZ

Hello All,

Have you seen the price of silver? What the hell is that? We get Mike Maloney, an “expert”, to come on insiders and tell us how great of an investment Silver is. It’s the sure thing, growing like a teenage boy’s erection. We publish his Advisor book, Guide to Investing in Gold and Silver, and what happens? The metals get shy and start hiding. Next thing I know this giant of investment, this “most undervalued” asset is cold and shriveling up. Mike says that it will go up to infinite growth, and all that happens is the metal giant gets castrated. Think Tin Man on Wizard of OZ. Nothing’s there. What’s up?!?!

Hold on. Take off your panties and put on your big boy pants. Wipe your face off and SHUT UP!

This is one of the points Rich Dad teaches. Ever since the mastermind, Nixon, took us off the gold standards the markets have no foundation. They fluctuate wildly. A lot like my bi-polar third ex-wife. Every day we get further from the days we were anchored to gold, our economy’s mood swings get larger. Imagine a bi-polar woman suffering from chronic PMS. One day she’s sweet and lovey and the next day she a combo between Lorena Bobbitt and Elvira trying to skin my . . . Well you get the picture. This is our economy.

So this sounds a little scary. I’m scared. Robert, or Robbie Rob, as I like to call him, is not. In fact he kind of thinks its funny. When you’re watching the insider videos listen to his laugh. He’ll start imagining all us Financial IQ retards running scared and crying and he starts to laugh. It’s an evil laugh, it sounds like a snake hissing while being tickled.

Robert says that if your Financial IQ is up there then you make money every time the market swings. The more it swings, the easier it is to make money.

So chill out. The market’s swinging. It will swing back. It’ll swing back bigger. The metal giant will become erect again; the Tin Man will find his “parts”. And when he does Dorthy better watch out, Bi-polar or not.

Jack N. Box

The 2008 US Presidential election is a Total JOKE

For six years I've heard Robert say over and over again that both the democratic and republican parties are no different from one another. After the 2004 election, I started to believe him. As I watch the DNC and RNC this year, I can see that they really are the same. Both parties want to increase spending (even though they talk about cutting it), both claim to be able to deliver on outlandish ideas, and both make promises to make the United States more secure from "terror". I think the current system of politics is laughable at best. Especially when it's pretty clear that the republicans cut taxes but print more money (deficit spending) and the democrats raise taxes and print more money as well.

I bring up printing money because the United States has been freely printing dollars since Aug, 1971 when President Nixon pulled us off the gold standard. What does this mean? It means that there is nothing backing the dollar- only confidence is keeping the dollar propped up. This is what has kept me from being positive in a presidential election- the fact that money is printed, the US goes deeper in debt, and the rest of the world MUST continue to invest in the US in order to keep this whole thing going- NO MATTER WHAT PARTY IS IN POWER. The United States is an empire and a using a fiat currency- someday, that empire will fail and have to pull back as did the British Empire along with countless other empires....

The United States has set up a police station in the Middle East- namely Iraq and Afghanistan.

The idea that the Iraq war needs to come to an end all all troops will be withdrawn is a joke and will never happen. Yet Barack states that's what he wants to do. McCain claims that we need to "win the war on terror".

Do you really think that the US will pull out of Iraq under either party after the largest US Embassy in history was completed in Baghdad?

Do you really think that the US will pull out of Iraq, located in a region where 65% of the recoverable crude oil on the planet is located?

I would like to think that this scenario will change for the better but I'm highly doubtful. Barack Obama's claim that he can "change" America is just as laughable as McCain's. What a joke.....

Pay Yourself First

So I wanted to start this blog with one undeniable truth. . . The Arizona Cardinals are going to win the Super Bowl this year.

Anyways. . .

Here at Rich Dad I often get A LOT of questions about Robert, or what did he mean when he said. . . , so on and so forth. So I thought I’d tell you about the number one question that I get.

“Hello Jack what does it mean when Robert says, ‘Pay yourself first’?”
I hated getting that question. I had no clue.

I figured it showed that Robert had forgotten what it was like to be an average Joe. That Robert could no longer remember the days when his shirts were ripped, when he drove around in a rust covered convertible Karmann Ghia with moth holes in the cloth top. When he couldn’t get a date because he couldn’t afford toothpaste or deodorant. Or, dare I say it, when he had to fly commercial coach class (oh the horror).

So the other day I decided I would ask Robert. Sure this sounds easy. I want you all to imagine going to your boss and saying, “hey boss, I know I’ve been working for you for a while, but I don’t understand on of the foundational truths we present in our company.”
It makes you feel a bit stupid and like a total Jack A$#. Its like going to your wife of 10 years and saying, “I understand monogamy is an important part of our marriage, but I don’t really get it”.

But, I’m tired of not understanding and I’m tired of being to afraid to ask Robert what that means. So I ask.

Robert turns around and TOTALLY starts screaming at me. He’s spitting as he goes into his temper tantrum about how stupid I am and what a loser and why am I even bother to work here if I’m so unteachable. . .

I’m kidding.

Robert just turns to me and says, “Did you read Financial IQ? (his latest book)”.

God. I wanted to lie SO bad. I needed to lie SO bad. But I said, no. I hadn’t gotten around to it yet.

That does set him off. “You stupid A hole, if my own people don’t want to learn, what hope is there for the rest of the world?!” Then he hauls off and hits me!

I’m Kidding.

Robert says that I really should read it, because I could learn a lot from it. But then he gives me the answer to the question.

“What I mean when I say pay yourself first is. . .pay yourself first. That’s it.”

Then he looks at me. I’m afraid to ask the next question. Especially since I already told him I didn’t read his latest book. But I’m in this deep, so I say, “I don’t get it. I’ve got bills. Shouldn’t they be first? How can I not pay my bills?”

He looks at me. Now he looks tired. I’m trying to maintain eye contact through my shame, but the gravity of the floor keeps trying to pull my head down.

Finally he says, “Look Jack, it’s simple. Pay yourself first, NOT your bills. Then, when the bill collectors start screaming at you, you’ll find the money. You’ll find a way”

This makes sense. When my business started going under, I always found money for my loudest bill collectors. The rest I pleaded and begged with to get better terms. Its painful, but it is true. I guess by paying yourself first you create a motivator for you to get your finances straight and better terms. In the meantime, hopefully you find a way to take your savings and create cash flow. I suppose the desperate situation you place yourself in will also help you keep your eyes open for opportunities.

So if you’ve heard Robert say, “Pay yourself first”, but never understood, hopefully you do now. Courtesy of my shame.

Jack B. Shameful

YOU HAVE THE LIFE YOU WANT

I have the life I want-you have the life you want. If I really wanted something different I'd do what it took to get it. What really needs to be looked at though is what am I willing to do to get what I want. Say for example weight. Simply putting down the fork and working out more. More exercise and less food--plain and simple. Maybe a comfortable style of life with enough money. But what does it take to get there--some education, some "just do it" attitude. What am I giving up to get there? Is setting goals enough? What about a PERT chart?